I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
