My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
