I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
