All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
