Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
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buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
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I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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