I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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