Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
