end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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