I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
