Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
