he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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