it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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