This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
