The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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