Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Text me some of your sweat
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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