good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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