She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
