I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
