Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just blew my weed a kiss
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
