If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
