Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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