I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
FUCK WHALES
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
