can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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