i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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