I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize