and i looked up. we had an audience...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
