Kiss
Puke
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
