But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
4 words: hood of his car
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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