Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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