and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
