I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
