Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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