i love accidental penises.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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