woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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