Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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