Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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