Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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