You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize