Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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