Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
