My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
