The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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