We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize
