i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
