Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
