Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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