I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have aggressive nipples.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize