Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
