how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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