so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
