Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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