Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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