So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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