You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
