I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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