All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
