At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
