I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
