The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You ruined the universe
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
