Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish I only lived at night.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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