The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
