420 ftw
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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