Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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