He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i out mim tonsoeep
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