dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
