So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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