Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
